


you make me feel like a teenager in love (don't let me down)

by idyllicbucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Actor Bucky Barnes, Actor Steve Rogers, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drug Abuse, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Hollywood, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, they're both actors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 00:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20939507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idyllicbucky/pseuds/idyllicbucky
Summary: fake dating AU featuring steve as hollywood's golden boy and james as hollywood's latest derailed ex-disney star.will remain INCOMPLETE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy!! welcome :) i love this trope, never gets boring. i'vé read a few fics like this but i wanted to give it my own twist. expect it to be very fluffy with very little angst! english isn't my first language so my grammar is a little bit shaky, my apologies, i'm trying. feedback is appreciated.
> 
> ( title is from madison beer - teenager in love)

“Ugh.” 

Steve’s alarm beeped aggressively on his nightstand. He loved his job, don’t get him wrong. Doing what he loves doing the most and getting paid for it was the greatest gift in his life, but his schedule. God, his schedule. Waking up at 5:30 in the morning isn’t fun, no matter how much you’re getting paid. 

Over time he got accustomed to it, but waking up this early was not his cup of tea. He’s been doing this for a while now, surely not as long as others but long enough. When Steve was 14 he was scouted while he was doing a school play, a modern telling of Romeo and Julliet. Just a few months later he was cast in a sitcom called Costumed Chaos. 

Steve played a patriotic superhero wannabe who always got in trouble. He quickly became a fan favourite and gained his spot in the spotlight. He starred in more and more movies and series and soon became Hollywood’s Golden Boy.

Just sucks that said golden boy has to wake up this early in the morning.

Currently, Steve was working on his psychique and getting big for his next movie, a superhero franchise. He never was the biggest, most muscular or fittest human on the planet but he just started to work out and started to see actual results. He wasn’t as tired walking up the stairs, could actually run a mile without almost dying and little baby muscles started to show. 

Said baby muscled man rolled out bed with a big sigh. It was still dark out since it is October already. Great. The season of white girls who wear leggings, uggs and drink pumpkin spiced lattes all day. The season of Halloween and bad weather. 

Steve walked towards his closet and changed into his workout clothes and went for a run in this lovely October weather. A perk of going jogging early in the morning? No paparazzi. Not that they followed him a lot, he never did anything scandalous that would land him in the tabloids.

Once he was back home he took a brisk shower and checked his emails. Strange. Maria, his publicist had texted him that he needed to come by the office at 8 sharp. Was there a scandal Steve didn’t know about? 

Steve got dressed into his casual attire, some jeans with a white shirt. Said shirt might have been a little too tight, so what? He wanted to show off his little baby muscled to his devoted fans. 

O the fans. The best part of Steve’s whole career. After his debut he gained quite the fanbase. Loving, devoted fans. Maybe to devoted? But you don’t hear Steve complain. Everytime he encouters one of them his mood is twice as good. They give him gifts, hugs, compliments, they just are the best. 

He went outside and got into the car Maria sent to pick him up. Still weird, an own private car with a driver. When Steve was younger money was always a little tight, meaning he always had to walk to school and had to wear hand-me-downs. But look at him now, sitting in a luxury car with a driver!

Never in a million years did he expect this.

At his destination he got out and made sure to thank the driver. Always the gentleman. He walked into the enormous building and greeted the workers as he made his way to Hill’s office. 

The familiar door came in sight and Steve went in.

Hill’s office was insane. The white room was lit by the natural light that came from the top to floor windows through which you had an amazing view of the New York skyline. An occasional plant made the room look less sterile and an incredibly fuzzy carpet warmed the room up.

“Rogers.”

“Hill.”

“Goodmorning, take a seat.” Hill said, straight to business as usual.

“Now you’re probably wondering why I called you in,” she said looking him in the eye, “don’t worry, you did nothing wrong. Are you familiar with the actor James Barnes?”

Steve snorted. Of course he is. James was an infamous actor in Hollywood, at one point a serious competitor but then he went completely of the record. Snapping at Ellen, Ellen of all people! Hitting paps, being drunk or high or both at events and ending up either in jail or rehab. He almost had a daily article in all the tabloids. 

“Yes. Yes I am ma’am, may I ask why?”

“You’re going to be ‘dating’ him for the next couple months.”

If Steve had water in his mouth he would have spit it out in a very theatrical way. 

“_Excuse_ me?”

Hill sighed. Obviously not up for Steve’s whining at this time in the morning. “Well, you’ve been wanting to come out the closet for a while and James needs redemption. This is a very logical solution. Me and his new publicist talked about it. End of discussion, you’re doing this, it’s in your contract.”

So half an hour of useless discussion Steve was on his way to ‘date’ with his ‘boyfriend’, James Barnes. Arriving at the coffee shop they were supposed to meet up he got out of the car and looked at his watch. He was still a little early, good, don’t want to be late for your first date.

_ Not a date _ .

For your first whatever.

Was it stupid that Steve was kind of nervous? It was a fake date with his fake boyfriend for his contract. 

An unfamiliar black SUV pulled up and out of the car stepped a man.

Not just a man. The hottest man on the planet. Dressed in tight skinny jeans and a soft looking pastel sweater. His hair is much longer than it was since his last red carpet, he also looked much better than that time.

James noticed Steve’s staring and gave him a smile and a hug. “Sorry, if this is awkward, gotta sell it y’know.” 

When Steve was released from the man’s strong grip he got the chance to look him in the eyes. Beautiful grey eyes, not bloodshot and his pupils weren’t dilated. Good for him.

“Hey… Nice to meet you, wanna go inside? I’m freezin’” 

James nodded and the pair walked inside the coffeeshop. It wasn’t very crowded, which isn’t weird for an early october monday morning. The two of them sat down by a table close to the window, they were there to be seen together. Steve ordered a cappuccino and James a ridiculously sugared drink. 

The two drank their drinks in silence for a few minutes until Steve broke it.

“So… This is a little weird, huh?”

James nodded. “This wasn’t my idea, just sayin’ but I’m glad it’s you. You seem like a cool fake boyfriend.” 

Steve giggled. _Giggled_, a grown 27-year-old man with baby muscles giggled. What is happening to him?

“We should probably get to know each other some more huh?” Steve said, to which James nodded.

Steve told James about his painting habits, his cat which is actually his neighbours cat but they neglect her so now it’s Steve’s, about his favourite foods and his family. His mother who Steve absolutely adores and is his best friends. His father who passed away when he was 17 but still loves. About growing up in Brooklyn and growing up in the spotlight. James was listening with his full attention. Sometimes nodding or laughing when Steve made a joke.

“You grew up in Brooklyn? No way! Me too!” James exclaimed.

It was James turn to tell about his life. He told Steve about his parents and his seven siblings. About his friends and about his secret love for One Direction, he made Steve promise not to tell anyone about that. About his days as a Disney Star and about his latest project.

“I’ve got to tell, I’m glad you’re back on your feet again. You look great, much less dead than last time.” Steve said earnestly. 

“So I still look a little bit dead?”

Steve’s eyes went wide and he stumbled over his next words, “What? No I-I didn’t. Fuck. Shit. No you look great. Really great.”

What was this man doing to him? 

“Thanks. You too, you’ve been working out?”

Steve blushed a little bit. So far he’s been enjoying James’ company, maybe this whole deal isn’t going to be too bad.

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve comes out and has a genuine moment with his 'boyfriend' james.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter already! wow guys thank you so much for leaving kuddo's and comments on my last post it really pushed me to create the second chapter, thank you :).

“Steve, you’re on in five.” 

“Shit! This is happening. Okay, breathe, you’ve got this man.”Steve mumbled under his breath while slapping his cheek. Maybe not the smartest approach when you’re going to be live on tv in 5 minutes, but he needed to keep his thoughts in line.

This is happening, Steve is coming out in 5 minutes on live TV. 

Steve is telling everyone about his ‘relationship’ with James.

He’s going to be telling all this while he is on Ellen’s show.

The woman his ‘boyfriend’ snapped at and walked away from.

Shit.

“Focus Steve you got this!” Sam said. Steve’s best friend for his entire lifetime. Sam has been there his entire life; he knows all of his secrets and the other way around. “Thanks for your support but I don’t think I do…”

“You’re such a pussy Steve; you’ve got this. No one will care you’re still cute, and you like boys as well, so what? Hollywood’s golden boy is bi! Representation my man!” 

Steve rolled his eyes, if he was less anxious he would make a funny comment but not today. Today it’s happening. “Thanks for bein’ here, really appreciate it. Gotta go though.” Steve said and pulled his best friend in a hug. If he didn’t have to go on in a minute, he might have cried, but he didn’t.

Really, he didn’t.

Steve walked towards the set and waited for the sign to go on. When one of the assistants said it was time, he took one last deep breath and went on.

People were clapping, but Steve couldn’t focus. He couldn’t hear them. His thoughts were so loud. This is happening, the moment he has been looking forward to for almost his entire career. It’s finally here, but now it doesn't seem that excited anymore. When he leaves the studio in a couple of hours, his life is going to change and so is James'. But he is ready for it. 

“Steve Rogers! It’s so good to have you back on the show!”Ellen greeted him with a hug. Over time the two of them met a couple of times and were on friendly terms. Steve was wondering if that was going to be the same in a minute when he tells her who his boyfriend is.

The two of them got talking, bantering like old friends. They talked about his latest movie, about his new more muscular body and then they landed on the subject: love.

“So… Steve how’s it going in the love department?” Ellen asked, and Steve felt his cheeks heat up. God this is happening, this is happening. Deep breaths, deep breaths, you’ve got this, you can do this Steve.

“It’s going pretty well Ellen, pretty well.” 

The audience gasped in amazement and Steve laughed.

“Who’s the lucky lady?” She asked, leaning a little bit closer, obviously intrigued by were the conversation is going, playing the part pretty well considering she knew this was going to happen.

“Not a lady.”

The audience gasped. This time not in amusement but in shock. Hours seemed to pass but then the audience exploded in loud clapping and whooping.

“Oooo? Who’s the lucky man then?”

“Uhm… Well… You uhm.. You may know him? I-I don’t know uhm.. It’s….” 

“Come on tell us already you’re killing us!” A girl from the audience yelled, and that seemed to break the tension. It doesn’t matter, his true fans will still love him no matter what sexuality, no matter who his ‘boyfriend’ is.

“It’s James Barnes.” 

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“O hey would you look at that! We’re trending already!”James exclaimed.

The two of them met at Steve’s loft to talk about today’s event and eat some dinner. 

“No shit two insanely hot guys, dating? Of course you’re trending idiot!” Sam said.

O yeah Sam joined, he always just kind of tags alone Steve is pretty sure Sam has nothing to do in his life besides bothering him by eating all his food. The three of them had ordered some Chinese takeaway, James favourite. 

Steve laughed. Today’s tension gone. It felt good to get this secret of his chest. It was time. He has been hiding his sexuality like a little kid hides his Nintendo under his pillow from his mom. Coming out is something he has wanted to do since forever. Hill didn’t think it was a good idea, might ruin his ‘good’ reputation or whatever that meant. 

But now, Steve felt like a bird released from his cage.

James laughed as well, something he doesn’t do that often Steve notice but when he did the whole world seemed to stop spinning and look at the most beautiful man on the planet. James was wearing a yellow turtleneck. 

He seems to be so different in real life than the guy the media portrays him as. In real life, James is the kind of guy who wears soft coloured sweaters, drinks very sweet coffees and laughs at bad jokes. In the media James is the kind of guy who only wears black and is high before breakfast.

Steve wonders what is up with that but doesn’t push it.

Suddenly Steve decided it was a good idea to take out his phone and capture this moment. James completely at ease, looking soft and comfortable and post the picture on his Instagram Story so all of his 32,4 million Instagram followers could enjoy this moment with him. 

The three of them finished dinner and James helped clean up.

“It was really brave what you did today,” James said in a soft voice after Sam had left, “Proud of you. Must not have been easy, y’know? Telling this many people personal things like that. Really brave Steve.”

Wow, this kind of sincerity Steve wasn’t expecting. The pair just met yesterday but it was mainly for business but this moment was something else, it felt genuine. “Thanks… Feels good y’know to get this off my chest.”

James nodded and gave Steve a small shy.

“I’ve got to say, you aren’t what I expected at all.” Steve said after a beat.

“O, what did you expect?” James asked, head tilted in curiosity. 

“I dunno. Guess everything I’ve been hearing about you is wrong. You just don’t seem like the kind of guy who would snap at Ellen or smoke a blunt during an Academy Award acceptance speech, James. You’re just very different.” 

“Yeah… I’ve changed quite a bit haven’t I,” James laughed, “if we're gonna be dating you should call me Bucky, everyone else does.

“Bucky?” Steve asked, confusion visible on his face. “Is that like your real name and James is just a stage name?” 

James laughed, a full out belly laugh, something Steve hadn't heard before but doesn’t want to stop hearing. “No is just a nickname. My middle name is Buchanan, so Bucky… It kind of stuck. Like it better anyways, less boring than James.” 

“James isn’t boring!’

Ja- Bucky rolled his eyes and gave Steve a look. “Anyways, it’s late, I should probably get going. Uhm.. Yeah, thanks for the food, was great. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

Steve closed the door after James left and sighed. Wow. Bucky was great, just great. A genuine, loving and funny person and not ugly either. He would never admit this, but Steve was a big fan of Bucky’s back in his Disney days.

Bucky was the star of a musical film called ‘Dreams of a smalltown boy.’ The movie was the biggest musical created by Disney since High School Musical. It was about a smalltown boy who dreamed about doing what he loves most, dancing, but his father wanted him to enlist in the army. It was a huge hit and Bucky’s big break. 

Maybe Steve fell asleep watching all of Bucky’s old movies.

No, this deal is not going to be that bad.

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve and bucky go to a halloween party dressed in a matching outfit!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow another chapter already? wow i actually have my shit together! enjoy :)

It was almost time for their first outing together

A simple Halloween party. They just needed one last thing; their costumes. It was the one thing they couldn’t seem to agree on. You see, Steve wanted to go as something, matching and classic. Bucky however wanted something matching, funny and something a little more… dumb.

They had been discussing it for days. Bucky storming in Steve’s apartment unannounced with a new stupid, punny idea. Steve was always quick to dismiss them even though he secretly liked them. He always dismissed the more naked ones and Bucky would complain, claiming he really wants to see those baby muscles.

Bucky always declined when Steve came with an idea, claiming his were either cringy or just to boring. “I don’t want to walk into the most pretentious Halloween party in New York and see that 4 other couples are wearing the exact same thing Steve! That ‘s stupid. Honestly we should just wear my Tarzan and Jane idea.”

“It’s almost November Buck, not gonna let you walk around in just your underwear.” 

“Whatever mom.”

Today was different, they really needed a costume today or they would have to go in their regular clothes, and that is something you do when you really want to go to hell. They had narrowed it down to four. They both selected two and decided to fight it out.

“Definitely not the salt and pepper one.” Bucky mumbled and threw the picture in the trash. “Right where it belongs. Next!” 

Steve giggled, something that is starting to happen more and more when he is close to the dark-haired man. It’s just something about him that makes his heart explode and makes him act like a 12 year-old. 

“Fine, then were not doing the toothbrush and toothpaste one.”

Bucky let out an exasperated sigh. “That was my favourite you punk! Because of your rude acts we will do my other one.”

“No!”

“C’mon Steve, don’t be such a wuss, is gonna be fun!” 

“I just don’t think anyone wants to see me in a dress Buck.” 

Bucky just pouted. “And what if I wear the dress?”

“You really wanna go like this huh?” 

Bucky nodded excitedly. God, Steve really can’t say no to a face like that. “Fine, we’ll go as [ Taco Belle ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/282319470372817969/?d=t&mt=signup).”

“Yes!”

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

They arrived at the party a little early. Steve dressed in the ridiculous taco costume and Bucky dressed in a yellow dress with his hair up in a bun. It was their first outing as a couple and it didn’t help they looked stupid as hell.

“So we should probably set up some rules right, they’ll expect us to hold hands or something or kiss.” Steve said in the car.

Bucky nodded. “Yeah… Right… No we should right? I’m alright with it if you are..” 

“I’m alright with it.”

“Okay me too then.”

They stepped out of the car and intertwined their fingers. Camera’s were flashing the second their feet landed on the ground. Wow, that was intense. Steve took a quick glance at the other man and his brows knitted in confusion. In public Bucky was very different from private Bucky.

In public Bucky’s jaw was clenched, his hands were holding Steve’s tightly, maybe too tight and in public Bucky was tense, looking like a prey in someone else’s territory. Steve held Bucky’s hand a little tighter and rubbed his thumb over his hand. 

Bucky seemed to notice this gesture and gave him a small smile. The two of them walked in, luckily they were no paps allowed inside. The other man visibly relaxed. “I’m gonna get us both drinks!” Steve shouted over the loud music he didn’t recognise.

He made his way through the crowd and ordered ridiculously overpriced drinks. When he made his way back he finally recognised the song, it was a remix of Bucky’s song _ Freezing _. Steve smiled to himself and looked for him where he left him but Bucky was gone.

“Shit.”

Steve scanned the crowd but he didn’t see a man clad in a yellow dress so he went to the bathroom, there next to a very big houseplant Bucky was sitting, knees up to his chest and looking _ very _ distressed.

“Hey… Are you okay?”

Steve wanted to facepalm himself, of course he wasn’t okay the man looked like he had cried. The blonde sat down next to the other man and gave him his pink fruity drink. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know Steve,” Bucky whispered, “I guess I kinda freaked out. Was very crowded in there you know? Just had to leave. Don’t really wanna talk ‘bout it.” 

Steve nodded. He really didn’t know what to do, he was awkward and generally bad at comforting others. What he lacked in social skills he made up in…. Well nothing really, acting skills? He never really had a lot of friends growing up, nor siblings, nobody that ever really needed his support.

“Do you wanna go home?” Steve asked when the awkward silence got too long.

Bucky nodded.

“Okay, let’s go.” 

The two of them left the premises, the paps blinding them with their huge cameras. Steve held Bucky a little tighter and pulled him towards the sidewalk. Their chauffeur was still nearby luckily for them so they could get in immediately. 

“Wanna go home?” 

Bucky shook his head. “No, is it okay if we hang out a little longer?”

Steve nodded and smiled a little to himself. Wow, Bucky actually wanted to hang out with him outside of the meetings and outings their respective publicists arranged? That felt great, maybe they could become friends over the course of their next few months together. Steve certainly hoped so.

“Of course, whatever you want. We can watch a movie, maybe have a horror movie marathon? Or we can just sit and drink some tea, whatever you want.”

Bucky chuckled. “The horror movie marathon sounds great.”

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

The pair changed out of their costumes and changed into their own more comfortable clothing. Well… Bucky changed into Steve’s more comfortable clothing. He was wearing his grey sweatpants with his Harry Potter sweatshirt. He looked ridiculously cute. Steve was a bit taller, so the clothes were a little oversized on the other man. 

Steve could just pinch Bucky’s cheeks like an old aunt at your grandma’s birthday.

“Soo… what movie do you wanna watch?”

Bucky looked up from his phone. “Uhm… I’m not a big fan of horror movies, so.. You pick.” 

Steve looked at the other man in disbelief. The badass, tough guy James Barnes didn’t like horror movies. The guy who wore his boxers over his leather pants at an award show last year, the guy who wears eyeliner, listens to heavy metal and only plays villains in movies didn’t like horror movies? 

“We could watch Scream? It’s one of my favourites, it’s a classic honestly.” 

Bucky nodded. “Whatever you say is good Stevie.” 

He really tried not to blush, he would consider himself successful (he wasn’t) at the nickname and put the movie on.

The two of them sat down on the couch and Steve put the hand knitted blanket on the two of them. As he was paying attention to the movie he felt Bucky snuggle closer and closer, putting his head on his shoulder. 

Steve really couldn’t pay attention to the movie afterwards. The warmth of the other man, his little breaths and his little gasps at stuff that would happen in the movie were more than enough to distract him. 

When the movie finished Steve didn’t feel Bucky’s little movements anymore. Steve looked over and saw the dark-haired man fast asleep on his shoulder, drooling a bit. If anyone else had the audacity to drool on his shoulder he would freak out, but not with Bucky. Never with Bucky.

Steve smiled and got the phone from his little pouch of his hoodie and snapped a picture of Bucky and posted it on his Instagram story.

No, this deal isn’t going to be that bad.

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! leave kudos/comments?
> 
> feedback is always welcome x


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve and bucky work out together to work on steve's baby muscles and they share their first 'intimate' moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey, i tried to keep my updates scheduled, well lost that idea. i'm pretty swamped with uni, so i don't think i'll write for the next week and really focus on my studies, i do however have fall break next week so i think i might get a little writing in, no promises though. i have written a chapter ahead which i'll like next week or so. i have a couple of other ideas for some other fics, some are Halloween themed so i guess i gotta hurry up if i wanna post them before Halloween. (i already know i'm gonna fail) .

# 

_ Is actor James Barnes back on drugs again? Did he get his most recent lover involved as well? Keep on reading to find out!  _

_ Recently our favourite all American boy Steve Rogers was dating James Barnes. To say we were shocked was an understatement. His sudden come out, their relationship which seemed to appear out of thin air and their very different personalities didn’t sound like a match made in heaven to us. _

_ Rogers is best known for his work in ‘Costumed Chaos’ and is said to be playing the legendary role of Captain America and it’s also rumoured he makes an appearance in ‘Red Room’ in which our favourite Russian Redhead, Natasha Romanoff stars. None of this is confirmed, however.  _

_ A-list actor James Barnes however, isn’t exactly known for his best behaviour. _

_ Barnes started as a young Disney star full of potential, but maybe that got to his head. Instead of hitting the tabloids for donating to charity or rescuing kittens like his significant other he is most known for his rowdy behaviour, checking in and out both prison and rehab and having countless lovers. He also hasn’t starred in any movie since.  _

_ Last year he was hospitalized after a suspected heroin overdose, ever since his scandalous behaviour seemed to have died down a little, maybe ever since he found love in the tall, handsome and blonde Steve.  _

_ However, yesterday Barnes and Rogers were seen leaving nightclub Compass, one of the most pretentious clubs, skipping out of the Halloween party. Said party was attended by a lot of other A-listers, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner and Clint Barton to just name a few. _

_ “They just left, Steve got drinks and not a few minutes later they left.” One of my sources told me this morning. “Barnes seemed high or something. He was all leaning on Rogers, his eyes were all bloodshot. I’m telling you, something was wrong.”  _

_ Whether or not Barnes was high, , we’ll leave that up for debate. All we’ll say is that we were rooting for him bettering his life, quitting his drug and alcohol habits and even finding love and we hope he kept up the hard work. _

_ The recent love birds are adorable together. Rogers has posted several pictures of the two of them hanging out together and yesterday they were seen wearing matching outfits. Rogers was wearing a taco costume, Barnes a Belle dress from Beauty and the Beast and we were absolutely living for it. _

_ Barnes seemed to be glowing and radiating happiness in the pictures released by the press yesterday. Rogers seemed a little uncomfortable, but as we all know, parties aren’t really his scene. He looked much happier in a picture he posted on his Instagram Story later that night of an asleep James on his shoulder.  _

_ Adorable. _

_ We here are rooting for the two of them and we would love to hear your opinions on these two lovers. Do you think they are in it for the long run? Do you think Steve is actually making James a better person? Do you think Barnes was high? Let us know in the comments! _

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Steve was over it. All the negative news about his ‘boyfriend’. Yes, okay, Bucky may have a rocky past (something Steve really didn’t dare to ask questions about) but he seemed changed, a changed person. 

The Bucky in the news that he got to know was a way different than the Bucky sitting in front of him.

Bucky in front of him didn’t scowl at reporters, didn’t fight paparazzi, didn’t get into Twitter feuds and didn’t strip naked at a football game. Bucky in front of him seemed calm, easy, laid-back, with his pastel coloured sweaters that were always a little oversized and bucky in front of him smiled at Steve, laughed at his jokes and was just fun to be around.

Steve had avoided talking about Bucky’s past like the plague, he didn’t want to make the other man uncomfortable, he didn’t want to upset him and ruin their perfectly fine friendship just because he was being too nosy.

Right now the two of them were working out in the private gym in Steve’s apartment building. Bucky’s muscles were giant, Steve’s were still little baby muscles although they are getting more and more defined. For the role of Captain America he needed to get absolutely ripped, a good thing for him he had 6 more months before they started shooting.

Steve was getting pretty tired of enduring his muscles of hours of torture and on top of all that enduring, his stomach a ridiculously strict diet and really gross protein shakes. 

Bucky’s bodybuilding seemed to go a lot easier, he pulled all the exercises off with ease and without breaking a sweat. Steve, on the other hand, was a hot mess, barely able to do one push up and sweating through his shirt within the 5 minutes of working out.

The duo was finishing working out with an easy run on the treadmill. Bucky didn’t seem to mind this at all, but for Steve this was the last torture his body could possibly endure so he quickly stopped and called it a day. Once Bucky was also done they went upstairs to Steve’s apartment.

They changed out of their gross, sweaty gym clothes and into their more regular, less sweaty and most importantly less smelly clothes. In order to do that they had to strip naked. Bucky didn’t seem to have a problem with it, pulling his shirt over his head. When he did just that Steve noticed uneven marking on his shoulder running all the way to his back. 

Steve gasped at the sight of the red scarring. What would even caused that much damage?

“Buck?”

James turned around, wearing his jumper again. A pastel green one this time, really complimented his eyes. But that was not the point. “Yes?”

“What happened to your back? And shoulder?”

Bucky looked a bit shocked by Steve’s sudden question and hesitated to answer. It was obviously not something he liked to talk about. He sighed a little before he began talking.

“My last boyfriend was a bit of dick, drank a lot. Uhm.. one day we were going to a party but he already had too much to drink and we hit a tree. He died. Uhm.. don’t really like to talk about it. Messed my arm up pretty bad, um can’t really feel a lot with it, can move it just fine but it kinda sucks.”

Steve was dumbfounded, didn’t really know what to say.

“Shit.” 

Bucky chuckled. “Well… yeah..”

“Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

Bucky nodded and the taller man walked towards the other man and embraced him. The smaller man still smelled a little bit like sweat from their previous work out but Steve didn’t really mind it. Adds character he guesses.

“If you ever wanna talk about something, you can always come by or give me a call, you know that right?” Steve said as he released Bucky from his grip. The other man nodded and give him a small smile.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks,” he said to which he later added, “for everything. You know, being so chill with everything that is going on right now and just for being a great friend.”

Steve nodded and smiled to himself. Even though Bucky still saw him as a friend, (Steve wasn’t even sure he wanted anything more than that, he just enjoys Bucky’s company), it meant a great deal, they were only hanging out together for a few weeks and that they have already established this closeness meant a lot.

“Anytime.”

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“My mum wants to meet you.” Steve declared when the two of them were out having dinner, in a very public restaurant, in a very public spot, but everything for the publicity.

Bucky choked on his ridiculously overpriced chicken, seriously how can a chicken cost this much? A chicken is a chicken, right? Or did they feed this one diamonds? Anyways… Bucky seemed a little bit pale. 

“She wants to meet? She wants to meet…. Me?”

Steve nodded. “Yes. that’s what I just said.’

“Uhm... When will this meeting be happening?”

Steve shrugged, he and his mum hadn’t really discussed it all that much. “I guess like at the weekend? But we can reschedule, she won’t mind.”

Bucky nodded, still looking a little bit flushed out. “Uhm... Saturday?’

“Saturday will work.”

Saturday came quicker than they expected. The week flying by. More tabloids were posted about their relationship, more gossip was shared, more work-outs in the gym together and ever since they hugged they have been more comfortable touching each other, also in private.

What did that mean for them? Is Bucky just an affectionate person? Are they getting closer? Is Bucky just that comfortable around him that he feels the need to hug him or sit a little closer than usual?

“Is this alright?” Bucky said.

Steve looked up and observed the third outfit Bucky was wearing. He was wearing a pink  [ denim jacket ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/17/12/e6/1712e6d5e6558c7fec1246b2cb282700.jpg) with a white shirt underneath. He was also wearing black ripped jeans and his black and white converse, he looked amazing.

“Yeah… you look gre-” 

Before Steve could finish his sentence the doorbell rang. 

“Oh shit.”

Steve chuckled. “She is not that bad.” And opened the door. A short thin woman with long blonde hair appeared. 

“Hey honey.”

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just another thank you for your guys' support and kuddos means a lot! as always, leave kuddos/comments and feedback is always welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky meets steve's mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey, sorry this took a while. i'm soo busy with uni and i'm seriously considering dropping out and pursuing a career in crying in my bed. no all jokes aside, the chapter is here! it took a while and wrote it in a rush today so be wary for grammar mistakes! sos it's also super short but i'll posting again end of this week. sorry!
> 
> this chapter is from Bucky's pov so something different for a change :). Loveee x
> 
> oooh and i changed my username, hope it's not bothering anyone. but it was still related to a fandom i'm not even in anymore and it made me cringe everytime i looked at it x2

“Hey honey.”

A thousand thoughts ran through Bucky’s brain. Shit. Steve’s actual mum is here. Meeting parents, that was not in his contract right? Meeting Steve’s mom that was definitely not in his contract. 

Mrs. Sarah Rogers was a small and thin woman, but she looked healthy as a horse. She looked in her late fifties, but still very well for her age. There were traces of grey in her blonde hair. Steve definitely got his hair from his mother, it’s the exact same shade of blonde. His eyes were definitely his mother’s as well. His mothers were a slightly darker colour of blue but the resemblance was uncanny.

“Hey mom.” Steve had said as he embraced the smaller woman. “This is James.” 

Mrs. Sarah Rogers smiled and moved her eyes over to the darker haired man. “Hey James, I’m Sarah.” She smiled before embracing him. 

“Uhm… Hi...Hey? Er- Hi Mrs. Rogers.. Hi.”

“Don’t be shy, James, it’s just my mother.” Steve chuckled as he looked at Bucky. Whenever Steve looked at him Bucky forgot to breathe, it happened more often than he liked but Steve is just so pretty but he liked the other man’s eyes the best. The bluest eyes he’d ever seen. With big fluffy brows which always made Steve looked serious. Adorable. 

Mrs Rogers smiled. Her eyes were kind and blue, just like Steve’s. When she smiles the similarity is just uncanny. “Darling, you can call me Sarah. It’s very nice to meet you, James, Steve has told me so much about you.”

Oh? Interesting fact, Steve talks about him to his mother. Logical when you think that the two are supposed to be dating and it makes sense that his mother knows about it. However, the two aren’t dating and they just reached friendship level at most. Does Steve just talk a lot about him? 

“Oh… Is that so?” Bucky said as he looked to Steve, a single eyebrow raised. “Only good things I hope Mrs. Rogers.” 

Mrs Rogers chuckled and took off her red long coat. “It’s awfully cold outside, can I get a cup of tea Steve?” Steve nodded and walked towards the kitchen.

“Now James. I watch the news and I read the tabloids, I’m not that old. When Steve told me you two were dating I was quite frankly disappointed, I thought to myself ‘O no not that wildcard, Steve’ but when he told me more about you, and now that I’ve met you, you are quite alright.”

Bucky was at a loss of words. “Uhm thank you, ma’am?” 

“Sarah is fine darling. But that I think that you are alright doesn’t mean that you can just hurt my little baby boy alright? He’s still my boy and don’t you even think about laying a single finger on him okay? Because I will hunt you down and push my famous carrot cake so far down your throat that you’ll suffocate and die a sweet but slow death. Am I clear?”

Wow, Bucky can see where Steve inherited his fierceness. Steve, like his mother, is thin and doesn’t look like much (Steve liked to think that he’s put on ‘baby muscles’ ever since he started working out for that superhero movie but he can’t really see it) but he has an attitude that speaks a thousand words, just like his mother.

He nodded. “Crystal clear ma’am.” 

A beat of silence.

“Tea’s ready mom!” Steve shouted from the kitchen.

Mrs. Sarah Rogers left after dinner. The three of them ordered Thai takeout and ate it cross-legged at the coffee table while watching doctor Phil and ridiculing the spoiled brat that was on the show today. The three had a great time even after all of Mrs Sarah’s threats. When she left she whispered one last threat in Bucky’s ear. Something about a whisk in one of his holes. He quickly stopped listening. 

“Wow, she is _quite_ the woman isn’t she.” Bucky sighed after he closed the door.

“She is.” Steve agreed. 

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

That night it was storming out, of course. They were in New York after all and the falls can get aggressive. “I don’t want you walkin’ round in this kinda wheater, you’re staying the night. End of the non-existent discussion. I’ll make the bed in the guestroom.”

“Oh.. okay.” Well? What did you expect Bucky to do? Say no to a sleepover with a gorgeous man, and well it _ was _ raining outside. 

Steve disappeared and moments later he came back down. “Bed’s ready. You can stay downstairs if you wanna but I’m going to bed.” Steve smiled. “Goodnight.”

“I’m coming too, goodnight Stevie.” 

The two of them went to bed, to two separate rooms. Bucky seriously considered breaking the bed or something idiotic like that just so he could sleep in the same room as Steve. But he didn’t because the bed looked expensive.

Bucky went to sleep. Alone, cold and without Steve. 

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

When Bucky woke up it was still dark out and he felt distressed. 

His body was all damp from his sweat and he remembered waking up with a scream. Great, another nightmare. He didn’t have one for weeks and the one night he is staying over in the house of his crush he has one.

He remembered the same dreams that have been hunting him for years. What he didn’t remember was why Steve was standing here in his room, next to the bed. “Fuck… Did I wake you?” Bucky whispered, his voice felt rough, probably from the scream or screaming. When Steve nodded. “Fuck I’m sorry.”

“Hey hey… nothing to be sorry about. It’s alright. I heard you screamin’ and I thought maybe there was like a burglar or like a spider? But you were sleepin’ you looked distressed. I tried to wake you but shortly after you woke up on your own.” 

Oh. That made sense. “Fuck I’m still sorry though, sorry I woke you. Just go back to bed Stevie.” 

‘Stevie’ didn’t look too sure about that. “Are you gonna be alright? It looked pretty bad Buck. Wanna talk about it?” Steve looked like a kicked puppy, how can Bucky say no to such a pretty face? 

“Um.. I get nightmares every now and then, they’re always the same. I’m kinda used to them now it just sucks when I stay over somewhere. I’m alright Stevie. Now go back to bed.” 

Steve still didn’t look convinced. “Alright if you say so. Sleep well, Buck.”

When he left Bucky’s room he sighed, relieved? Embarrassment? He wasn’t ready for Steve to see all his demons. He would like to stay friends with Steve and if possible even more. But when shit like this keeps happening keeping people around was pretty hard.

The next morning neither of them mentioned the events from the night before but Steve was a little more caring. He made Bucky breakfast and even got him his sugary coffee from Starbucks. He left little notes all over the house. Bucky usually wasn’t one for this kind of pampering and comforting but he enjoyed it.

He enjoyed being around Steve.

Really, he enjoyed every single minute.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey thank you guys so much for all the love, kuddo's, comments and hits. Keep leaving them, they really brighten my day :).
> 
> i'm also on twitter and tumblr @idyllicbucky.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drama, angst and insecurites!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyhey, last time i said i was going to update at the end of the week. welp, failed at that. i've decided not to make any promises about posting anymore since i suck at having a regular updating schedule! anyways, enjoy <3

Bucky left the same afternoon to take care of something. It didn’t sound like any of Steve’s business so he hadn’t bothered to ask. Even though the two of them were seeing each other almost daily Bucky was still a very private person. 

Him leaving might have to do with the nightmare from earlier that day, but once again he didn’t dare to ask.

For example, he never talked about his family nor his friends. Steve was wondering if Bucky even had friends or family. It doesn’t appear that he has any hobbies and he doesn’t do much. Sometimes he goes to auditions but mopes around when he doesn’t get a part. 

The first thing Bucky talked about was his ex-boyfriend, the one who drove into a tree and died. The accident that left his shoulder all scarred and his arm all messed up. Steve was scared to talk about it again or to ask any related questions. 

But boy, Steve had so many questions. How many boyfriends did Bucky have in his past? What even is his sexuality, Steve obviously knows that he’s into men but he could also be into women? How went rehab? How is he doing, _ really _? But Steve didn’t want to force anything on the other man. 

Right now it was night, but Steve couldn’t sleep. He was bothered. Bucky went home to do something, he was all mysterious about it, but because Bucky left he was alone in the house, again.

He was always alone in his home, sometimes a rare visitor, like Sam or his mother but Steve was a loner. He was so bad at making friends and socialising. Sure on TV, he can come across as all charming and friendly but under that confident fun person there’s a lot of insecurity. 

Insecurity about everything really.

Steve never really had a significant other, sure he dated Peggy Carter for a while but that was before she found out she wasn’t into men (Steve tried not to take offence to that but really, was he such a bad boyfriend?).

When you look at Steve you don’t see much. Sure he has a cute little baby face and a deep voice but he is so tall it looks awkward. He had always been tiny and frail but when he finally got his growth spurt he expected to also put on some muscles, he was wrong. Every day in senior year he just got taller and taller and he just stood out so much in the crowd.

Now he’s working out for that superhero movie he _ is _ starting to see changes in his body for the better. He isn’t as tired when he walks up the stairs and his legs don’t hurt. His ribs are becoming less and less visible. But he isn’t making as much progress as he would like.

Sometimes Bucky joins for a workout, but that man is fit. Like super fit. Broad shoulders and defined abs and a sixpack oh god. Steve knows he worked hard for his body but he can’t help but feel jealous.

He also feels insecure about his career. Sure it took off all great and now he is in the biggest action movie of the year but he never felt like he was great at doing what he does. Of course, his friends, family and fans appreciate what he does but Steve just can’t help but feel like he should just stop acting altogether and start working as a garbage man.

Never, has he gotten an award, he never even got nominated. Really what’s the point?

Steve’s been here before. Lying alone in bed contemplating every single thing he has done in his career and life up to this point.

Wow, he should really go to bed.

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

When he woke up the next morning his phone was vibrating of his nightstand. Steve rubbed in his eyes and looked at the clock. Six in the morning. Ugh, who calls at six in the morning? Today was Sunday, the only day Steve can sleep in and someone calls? At six in the morning?

“What.” Steve sighed. Tired, irritated and ready to go to bed again. If someone is prank calling him he will find the person and murder them with his phone. 

“Steve.” It was from Maria. Of course, it was Maria. Does the woman ever sleep? “Look at the article I sent you.” And she hung up. Maria, always business, no fun and definitely no manners. 

Article? What article. What could possibly be that important that Maria fucking Hill felt the need to call him at fucking 6 am in the morning. He opened the link she sent. It was an article from some shitty tabloid. 

The headline read: _ Trouble in paradise? Bucky Barnes seen with a hottie. _

What the fuck?

Now Steve did know that the two of them weren’t dating. Steve also knew that Bucky definitely was allowed to see other people. But he wasn’t sure that he was okay with that. Also, it wasn’t allowed by the contract and Steve told himself that that was the reason he wasn’t happy with Bucky seeing other people.

He wasn’t sure he believed himself.

Was it jealousy? No, it couldn’t be. Jealousy is for people who are together, dating, married or maybe close to dating. Bucky and him were none of those together. So what was he feeling?

Anger? Angry because some other dude did dare to speak up about his feelings about Bucky. Angry at himself because he couldn’t? Angry at the paparazzi’s capturing everything all the time? If they didn’t take these pictures Steve wouldn’t have known that Bucky was greeting busy with someone else.

Sadness? Because Bucky wasn’t into him but into that unknown hottie from the paper? Sad because he was scared he wasn’t enough for Bucky.

So maybe Steve didn’t have big muscles or a beard. Was that Bucky’s type? Was that why the feeling wasn’t mutual? Because Steve wasn’t enough?

Was that a tear rolling down his face?

Fuck. Why was Steve being such a baby over this?

The two of them weren’t dating. They weren’t even involved in the slightest. The two of them only talk over silly things and they are friends. Friends because the two of them signed a contract.

Bucky probably didn’t even like Steve.

Fuck.

Steve managed to get out of bed. It took a while because he was crying over not-his-boyfriend. He looked in the mirror. Even though he had been working out a lot, his abs still weren’t defined. Steve was almost incapable of growing a beard, and he probably as funny as the guy in the pictures.

He should start working out more, take those protein pills, be stricter with his diet and don’t shave for a while and he should try to make more jokes and look more manly. Bucky would probably like it better that way. Why was Steve being so insecure over this? The two of them weren’t dating, at least not for real. 

Maybe because Steve did want the two of them dating or maybe because he really _ really _ liked Bucky.

And for a while, Steve thought Bucky liked him as well but apparently he thought wrong. Although he could swear he felt some sort of a mutual spark between the two of them. They got along very well and Steve considered the other man like a friend now.

Yet, he still wasn’t enough for Bucky.

The man in the picture apparently was. According to the paper, the man was named Thor Odinson. Steve went online and googled the man’s name. Thor was a Scandinavian singer who was breaking through in the US. Thor was also very beautiful.

Very, _ very _, beautiful.

Fuck Thor.

Suddenly, a knock on his front door.

Who could that be? It’s still pretty early in the morning. He put back on his shirt and opened the front door. It was Bucky. Wow, he definitely had some nerve coming back here.

Bucky looked tired, he was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, his hair was a mess and his stubble was longer than usual.

“Good morning Stevie.”

☽‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed. no worries, thor is not a dick! it's all going to be cleared up next chapter :) feel free to leave kudo's/comments :)


	7. update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quick little update guys :)

Heyy so you may or may not have noticed that I haven't posted much. I've been super busy with work and school and other shit that I just don't have the time to write :(. unfortunately, this means that I won't be continuing this fic, which means that it will remain incomplete. I will, however, continue writing but I won't be using my current upload system. don't expect any fics anytime soon. I'm sorry guys but at the moment my studies and my work mean more to me and I hope you understand :). 

xx

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! updates will hopefully be weekly, don't forget to leave kuddo's/comments ♡


End file.
